Thoughts for the Days
of Awe
[Note: As part of my
cyberspace presence, I am occasionally contacted by people from around the
world. One such person is a swami who is American by birth and has a Jewish
mother. He apparently spends most of his time in India, and has his own website
dedicated to Interfaith understanding. Around the time of The Days of Awe last
year, I received an email from him having to do with various matters concerning
sin and repentance. He asked me to comment, and for The Days of Awe this year,
I am sharing my response here.]
10/14/16
My Dear Swami
Sadasivananda,
I have found the
relatively brief article you asked me to comment on to be a stew chock full of
heavy ingredients not easily digested. Words/concepts like perfection, ultimate
goal, soul, wisdom, living soul, speaking spirit, perfect speech, sin,
repentance, punishment, asking forgiveness, transforming charitable and
prayerful words, acts of forgiveness, visionaries, shortcomings, mitzvah,
judgement day. Wow!
I have found it a great
challenge to organize my thoughts around what you asked me to read and comment
upon. I will begin with an extensive quote from my master, Swami Rama. This is
an excerpt from a book that I read many years ago, but always remembered as one
of his best (a viewpoint shared by other gurubhais and people who have read it).
I recently ran into somebody I had recommended it to many years ago, and they
told me that reading it resulted in a profound transformative event in their
lives, marking the beginning to an entirely new and spiritually productive
direction. This inspired me to read the book again for the first time in many
years, and it has been a great inspiration all over again. It touches on some
of the subjects in the piece you asked me to comment on.
A
[productive] quality is the ability to make mistakes without condemning
yourself! Determine that no matter what happens, no matter how many times you
stumble, it does not matter. If you have not crawled, you cannot walk; if you
have not stumbled, you cannot stand…So do not be afraid of stumbling. You will
stumble many times in life. You will commit many mistakes. Don’t create a
complex in your heart and mind by thinking that you are nothing. Don’t start
condemning yourself, and suffering. Stumbling and committing mistakes are not
sins. On the path of wisdom, there is no such thing as sin.
A
sin is any act that affects your mind in a negative way. Then, if you remain in
a state of negativity for some time, you become passive and helpless. A passive
mind is very dangerous. A negative mind can be improved; but a passive mind
leads to sickness…
Never
identify yourself with negativity, with a passive mood or with weakness. You
are not that. You have many weaknesses, yet you, yourself, are not weak. You
commit many mistakes, yet you are not weak. You have committed many so-called
sins, yet you are not a sinner…
When
you commit mistakes, the real repentance is in not repeating them. If you are
helpless, practice. If you stumble, practice again. Help will come to you;
grace will be there. Do not give up with your human endeavors! Whether you
consciously or unconsciously commit a mistake, just do not do it again, but do
not believe in sin.
Usually…you
care only for trivial or mundane things of the external world. Your eyes flow
with tears for petty things but your heart should cry for something higher. If
you constantly cry for worldly things, your body will become ill, but if you
cry for God, you will move toward Samadhi, ecstasy. At present, you have great
zeal to attain worldly things – you have too much feeling for the things of the
world.
Your
main problem is that you are hung up on the things of the world: you are afraid
you will not gain what you want, and you are always afraid of losing what you
have. You have never worked with the totality of your mind. This anxiety is all
the result of your mind, because nothing happens to the body, and nothing
happens to God. Whatever happens, it occurs only in your mind. The Upanishads
say that atman is the fastest entity, and yet at the same time, that it has no
movement. Teachers often say that the mind is the fastest, faster even than
sound or light. But there is one thing faster than the mind – your individual
soul, the atman. It is the fastest because wherever the mind travels, the soul
is already there, no matter where the mind goes. So if there is anything that
can correct and help your mind, it is not worldly wealth or objects, it is
nothing external, but only that which is the innermost center of your being.
Do
not concern yourself with the rewards of meditation. There is a scientific law
that every action has a reaction: it is not possible for an action to not have
benefits. Even if you do not see conscious benefits, there are unconscious
benefits. At the very least, you will develop muscle relaxation, rid yourself
of tension and stress, and learn to use the mind for spirituality.
--Swami
Rama, Path of Fire and Light, Volume II, pages
96-99
In accord with what my
master has said, I find it difficult to relate to terms such as “repentance”
and “sin”, for they feel so heavy and carry so much baggage. Images of self-righteous
apocalyptic bible-thumping preachers in the public square immediately come to
my mind when I hear such terms. In your footnote, you discuss the origins of
the word “sin” to “missing the mark.” As my master has indicated, we are
fallible, we will make mistakes repeatedly, but let’s not get too heavy with
ideas about “sin.” Let’s just call it “making mistakes” and endeavor to do
better next time. As he exhorts, if you miss the mark, so what. Don’t condemn
yourself, keep practicing, keep trying! It is the continued effort, the
striving, the earnest aspiration to improve that is important. I like his
definition of real repentance as attaining a state where you don’t repeat the
same mistake. I have always put that definition in the context of what is real
learning: when you stop repeating the same mistake. He indicates it is much
worse and self-defeating to condemn yourself than it is to make a mistake, to
miss the mark.
You speak of the need to
define the mark, so we know what we are aiming for in order to gain a sense of
how close we get (the optimist “glass half full” viewpoint) or how far we have
missed (the pessimist “glass half empty” viewpoint). You define the mark as
Perfection, and more specifically as the soul manifesting itself in perfect
speech, with its highest form being sincere repentance. Perfection in any respect
is quite a goal. I believe it may be helpful to hold Perfection as an
aspirational quality, but also to accept life largely as an ongoing,
never-ending process without viewing it as having some kind of end-point goal.
I don’t believe there is an end-point, only on-going process. Whatever may be
viewed as a goal, as an end-point, will likely only end up as being another
beginning point. You seem to acknowledge this in your observation that Rosh
Hashanah, which comes yearly, is about “a new beginning toward perfection,”
indicative of an ongoing process, and acknowledging that maybe we never get
there, but we can continue to move towards it. Perhaps it is like a carrot on a
stick, which keeps us moving, although it remains elusive. After all, the Vedic
tradition teaches us of never-ending cosmic cycles.
There are all kinds of
Jewish sources that contain all kinds of things and make all kinds of
statements and claims. You indicate that Torah claims that sincere repentance
is the highest mitzvah, but you don’t cite the source for that claim. There are
contrary sources that say the mitzvot should not be assessed higher or lower
priorities, or more or less importance, that even what may appear to be a
lowly, simple, or unimportant mitzvah is just as significant as any others. You
end your piece with a quote about judgment day as if it is a definitive
standard without citing the source. Jewish sources are replete with conflicting
and contradictory claims to definitive standards. And is this the judgment day
that comes once a year, or some end-time judgment day? The term “judgment day”
carries a connotation of a one-time only event, for all the marbles. I don’t
buy that.
As far as quoting a source that summarizes standards for a
purifying path and way of life, I prefer the three things cited by the prophet
Micah: “He has told you, O man, what is good, and what God requires of you:
Only to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah,
6:8. These three activities describe the three pillars on the Tree of Life:
Justice on the left, Mercy on the right, and the central pillar of balance and
ascendance in the middle, staying connected with integrated Divine energy. These
correspond with ida, pingala and sushumna in the yoga system.
You seem to be connecting
repentance and forgiveness, referring at one point to “acts of forgiveness.”
I’m having trouble following this, and perhaps your wording or my mind is a
little muddled, maybe both! I thought the common notion is that a person who
has recognized their own hurtful speech or actions “repents” by seeking
forgiveness. Forgiveness is then bestowed by whomever has been hurt, whether
another being, or even God. For a simple example, one person can apologize to
another person, and the other person can accept the apology. The terms
“apologizing” and “accepting an apology” seem much simpler, with a lot less
heavy baggage, than the terms “repentance” and “forgiveness.” This is a common
strain in traditional Jewish thought that conflicts with Christian, particularly
Catholic, thought. A person who has done wrong to another person cannot be and
should not be forgiven by the other person until the person who has done wrong
asks for forgiveness. In the semantics of apology, there can be no acceptance
of an apology until an apology has been made/offered. The semantics of
forgiveness do not necessarily require repentance prior to granting of
forgiveness. The Pope who was shot (John-Paul?) forgave the person who shot him
without that person asking for forgiveness or the Pope seeking an apology. Many
Jewish thinkers disagreed with the Pope’s view on this, maintaining that
forgiveness is not possible if not requested. From the Catholic point of view,
this is reflected in Jesus’ quote, “Forgive them Father, for they know not what
they do.” Inherent in that is the idea that if there is not even recognition
that they have done wrong, there can be no acknowledgement or repentance, yet
there can still be forgiveness. And then there is an additional layer in the
apology scenario: what if an apology is made but is not accepted?
Earlier in your piece, you
put forth the proposition that people are not punished for the sin, but
rather by the sin. But you also seem to put forth the proposition that
in either situation, repentance is still necessary, that the punishment is not
enough, and I’m not sure what the relationship is between punishment and
repentance. From one point of view, a perpetrator can be punished by someone
else, but never express remorse, but from another point of view, a perpetrator can
go unpunished by someone else, but cannot avoid the punishment inherent in the
act itself. However, a punished person who is not remorseful apparently has not
learned from their transgression or their punishment. Perhaps a person who
doesn’t ask for forgiveness, but is forgiven anyway, hasn’t learned anything
from the event or the unrequested forgiveness. But maybe on a deeper karmic
level, that bestowed forgiveness has some effect.
One repeating and
significant theme throughout the Torah and other parts of Tanak, particularly
the Prophets, is that of transgression, punishment and redemption; often in
terms of horrific transgression, severe punishment, but with always the
possibility of redemption, both temporary and ultimate. Redemption is
conditioned upon not only suffering through the punishment, but of also
recognizing and acknowledging the transgression and seeking
forgiveness/repenting.
After reading your piece
several times and attempting to not get sidetracked by too many tangents, I
finally detected what I think is your main theme/message: a form of speech
through prayer that encompasses earnest repentance attains purification and
receives the guidance of grace.
As I mentioned earlier, I
prefer to define the mark/goal as not an end-point called “Perfection,” which
perhaps can never be attained, but rather as an ongoing striving and aspiration
for spiritual growth and transformation as part of a never-ending process with
no ultimate “Judgment Day.” I did a little bit of research as part of my
preparation to respond to you, and was surprised to discover that the term
“Rosh Hashanah” (head of the year) is not contained in Jewish scripture, but
was coined later, and there are certain minority segments who do not accept
that designation for this holiday in the Fall. There were two biblical
designations, “Yom Ha-Zikkaron” which means “day of remembrance” and “Yom
Teruah” which means “day of blowing,” usually interpreted as the blowing of the
shofar, which is a ram’s horn.
I detect in what you have
presented the concept that the way to attain the purifying prayerful speech you
advocate is through the process of connecting with the Divinity within. Then
appropriate speech and action becomes second nature. Although you didn’t use the
word “atonement,” certainly that is also a word encompassing repentance for
this time of year. But “atonement” also literally means “at-one-ment,”
connecting with the One. I submit to you that the concept of “day of
remembrance” also encompasses this idea, of stopping to remember the Ultimate
Source of our lives and of all, and that the “day of blowing” is a designated
process to aid in that remembrance, evoking the inner sound of “ram” that
brings us back to the origin of all sound.
The image of the arrow
missing its target evokes the image of what I have termed “The Bullseye” chart,
which I have attached as a file. Hitting the bullseye in the center is
connecting to the Center, the Source. On a related note, the term used in
Judaism designating all of the extensive laws and rules and regulations as
further extrapolations off of the mitzvot, is “Halacha.” And the term usually
translated and carrying the connotation of repentance is “teshuva,” which was
included in the Hebrew quote you had at the end of your piece. But “Halacha”
literally means “path,” similar to the term “dharma.” And “teshuva” literally
means “return.” So missing the mark is like straying off of the path (the
razor’s edge), and remembering is returning to the path.
So that’s my story and I’m
sticking to it!
Om Shalom,
Steve Gold
10/15/16
To Sadasivananda
Another thought: In addition to what I have presented to
you, it came to me that a certain resistance to the terminology in your post
regarding sin and repentance that drove my response concerns the notion of
guilt. Although the word is never used, it is implicit in those kind of
concepts, lurking in the background And although my master never used that
word, it is implicit in his exhortation not to condemn yourself. Guilt is a
driving force in so many Western approaches. I prefer an approach to spiritual
teaching and standards for life engagement that employs motivations other than
guilt and shame.